Related: Living, Social Issues

Booting the Booter

 
 

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The Gridiron Gods needed a sacrifice. They demanded their pound of flesh.

Stingy Snyder gave them a tiny morsel, offering up the kicker.  Not some big, tasty offensive lineman or the juicy quarterback or flabby defensive line or sinewy coach.   No.  Slender Shaun Suisham, now a former Redskin because he missed a few kicks.

Ok, important kicks.

But booting the booter on a team this bad is like furloughing the lunch ladies at Harvard because the money managers lost $10 Billion.  (Actually, Harvard decided to cut faculty cookies and stop serving hot breakfasts to save money this year, I am not making this up!)   The second most valuable franchise in professional football history (at $1.6 Billion, the Redskins are second only to the hated Dallas Cowboys valued at $1.7 Billion) might not win another game this season.  They are hapless and hopeless.  So, they fired the kicker.

This would be a great time to change this sorry team’s sorrier name.  You know, put them into the football equivalent of the Witness Protection Program.  Let them disappear into anonymity and then start out a whole new life with a new name.  “Redfaces” would be good, but that’s just as racist as “Redskins.”    Maybe “Dan’s Duds” or “Zorn’s Zeroes” would be fun.    Or what about the “Washington Gnats” — oh, we have something like that, too.

Kicking out the kicker is not going to help this bunch.   Firing the coach, which seems inevitable, has not exactly been a winning strategy (let’s see, Norv Turner is winning games in San Diego, and Marty Schottenheimer made it to the playoffs after he was fired from the Redskins, and Steve Spurrier is doing pretty good back in college ball, and St. Joseph Gibbs raced back to race cars — there were other coaches, too, largely forgettable….Snyder’s only owned this team for ten years and he’s had almost as many coaches as place kickers.)

How do you solve a problem like the Redskins?  Send your comments to me by clicking on the “comments” link below…

Follow me on Twitter @TrinityPrez

See my take on Tiger Woods and privacy in the “On Success” blog at the WashingtonPost online…

Eugene Robinson has some very pithy comments on Tiger’s Tastes..

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One Response to Booting the Booter

  1. Timothy says:

    Prince George’s County, whose schools were ranked the second worst in Maryland in 1998 (Baltimore City’s were the worst), that year provided $70 million in infrastructure support to the privately funded FedEx Field, home to the Redskins. http://bit.ly/6Q0D6T

    Yes, the entire Metro area is clamoring for ‘a pound of flesh,’ but as arts education is dropped nationwide, how many of this rabble can cite the Shakespearian origins of the phrase?

    It is understandable that our nation needs a distraction during this period of war and unemployment, lest we collectively turn to the bottle. Beyond this anesthetizing function, I am troubled by the value that our culture puts on football franchises.

    Surely our time would be better spent educating ourselves! Instead, we cheer a spectacle known to cause life-long, trauma-induced neural damage! http://bit.ly/4mLRtd

    My point? By our actions and fascinations we seem to place football above intellectual curiosity. And that’s the kicker.

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Patricia A. McGuire, President, Trinity, 125 Michigan Ave. NE, Washington, DC 20017
Phone: 202.884.9050   Email: president@trinitydc.edu