Related: Politics, Social Issues

Washington Elite? Take the Test!

 
 

I think a lot of us who live in the Washington area are befuddled about the presidential campaign.   We keep hearing about “Real America” pitched against the “Washington Elite.”   Is that us?  Hmmm.   That little box that says “federal taxes” on our pay stubs presumably sends our hard-earned dollars to the same U.S. government that collects taxes from the citizens in “real” places like Alaska and Iowa.  True, D.C. residents have that very special privilege of not having any voting representation in the House or Senate — when the politicians define “elite” as “people who think they are better than other people” I wonder if they think it’s better to be disenfranchised.

In the  interest of trying to sort this out for all of us who wonder which group we belong to, I devised this little test.  Go ahead, answer the questions below, see if you score a Perfect 10 — a true W.E. insider! — or wind up in negative territory, glumly splitting beers with Joe Sixpack.

Are You Part of the Washington Elite?

1.  The last time I was at a Georgetown cocktail party, I was:

(a) mingling with my friends from the Senate, White House and various media outlets in a tastefully decorated home on N Street (+1)

(b) having brewskis with some Hoyas at the Tombs (0)

(c) passing hors d’oeuvres trays as part of the Ridgewell’s staff (-1)

2.  I have actually worn clothing:

(a) that I bought on a shopping spree at Nieman Marcus (+1)

(b) with Saks labels that I found at Goodwill (0)

(c) that I found on sale at Wal-Mart (-1)

3.  I wish that Joe the Plumber:

(a) would come to my house to fix the slow drain in the kitchen (+1)

(b) would realize his 15 minutes of fame are over (0)

(c) would run for president next time (-1)

4.  My Ivy experience is best reflected in:

(a) my Harvard degree (+1)

(b) my rejection letter from Harvard Law School (0)

(c) that @#$# vine that keeps climbing up my chimney (-1)

5.   In the current economic crisis, I:

(a) might have to sell my summer place in Rehoboth (+1)

(b) watch CNBC incessantly (0) (get help!)

(c) hope that the nice tellers at my Wachovia branch are still there when Wells Fargo comes into town (-1)

6.  When I knew Joe Sixpack, he was:

(a) someone I threw out of my Georgetown cocktail party (+1)

(b) a guy I helped get into a 12-step program (0)

(c) my best buddy in college (-1)

7.  My favorite ride to work is:

(a) my Beemer (+1)

(b) my Bike (0)

(c) my Bus (-1)

8.  My philosophy about paying income taxes is:

(a) it’s good to spread the wealth around (+1)

(b) that’s why God created tax shelters (0)

(c)  taxes are a socialist plot! (-1)

9.   On Redskins game days, I

(a) enjoy the game in Dan Snyder’s skybox at Fedex Field (+1)

(b) never make it past the beer & brats at the tailgate party (0)

(c) root for the Eagles (-1)

10.  My idea of a relaxing day is:

(a) running in the Marine Corps Marathon (+1)

(b) strolling along the C&O Canal (0)

(c) moose hunting with the kids (-1)

There!  How’d you score?   For myself, I’ve got a long way to go before I can call myself a true member of the Washington Elite!  Maybe I’ll start working on my points by heading over to Nieman Marcus….

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Patricia A. McGuire, President, Trinity, 125 Michigan Ave. NE, Washington, DC 20017
Phone: 202.884.9050   Email: president@trinitydc.edu